Dealing with anger is something that takes discipline.  The moment I feel anger I redirect myself to God.  I intentionally put my issues in the hands of the best problem solver; I give it to God. 

There have been and probably will be many arguments in my life!  For me, it is all about how you deal with those moments.  Although for the most part, I am mild-tempered, the right topic at a weak moment can turn me into a “Hot Tamale.”  The same was true with my spouse and is true with my children. 

One hot discussion with my husband was life-altering.  I said, “Please don’t ever talk to me like that, I wouldn’t talk to anyone or anything in that way.”  His response changed me forever. 

He said, “But you spoke to me that way first.”  I looked and him and instantly said, “I am sorry, I had no idea.  You need to tell me when I use that tone because it is not acceptable.  I would never intentionally talk to anyone like that.”  Then of course, I smile and say what I always say to break the chill of the moment, “Yes, but I know you will always love me!”  That statement never failed to bring a smile to his face and all was ok. 

From that moment on to this day, I listen for that terrible voice tone.  I pray that if and when I use it I hear myself, apologize appropriately, and am forgiven by whomever I have hurt. 

Most often it is our children or spouse that we hurt when we are angry because those closest to us are the safest targets.  Despite having an amazing 10 years with my husband, we did have our moments of disagreement!  We were fortunate that we both respected each other and apologized if we were disrespectful.   Thank God for forgiveness!

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