What is the right way?  There are so many paths to choose from and so many ways that we can choose to communicate or act.

One of the things that helped me move beyond my typical biased views is leading with compassion.  When I approach a situation with a mindset of love, kindness, and understanding, my mind is open to seeing other perspectives. 

Rather than assuming I know all the facts, I start with an understanding that I only know my perspective, and even then, my viewpoint can be biased.  Jesus knows the full story accurately and sees the total picture.  I am better able to listen and understand other perspectives when I am fully aware that I only know what I see and hear.  I may be right about my situation.  The question is, what else is going on that I have not seen or heard?

Even with my children, I only know a small portion of the total picture.  Yes, when they are small, we manage their life, but think about what you know.  Do you know what upset them, that they are not feeling well, or why they are not acting as usual?  I pray and make my best educated guess, using the information available. 

Am I right?  Not always.  Particularly when I allow anger to take hold before realizing that compassion has not yet arrived on the scene.  The consequences of the actions that were in question are far more effective when I view the situation with understanding. 

Jesus is forgiving, but I still have consequences for my actions.  I might understand why something was done, but that doesn’t mean it was right.  It means that I am better able to evaluate the situation with compassion, in a more meaningful way, and provide an appropriate consequence if I am the adult in charge. 

Let’s not forget about the follow-through, arguably one of the most difficult aspects of the consequence.  Did I do my part in setting and following through with the guidelines of the consequences?  My kids know they are forgiven and that they are accountable for the consequences.  I, too, have to stand strong and enforce the guidelines. 

The right way might be uniquely different for each situation, but a much-needed component is compassion.

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