Every year during the holiday season, I like to remind myself that not everybody shares the same expectations regarding the holidays and traditions, particularly when it comes to what makes us comfortable.  Thinking about those who attend, I ask myself what might make the holiday more joyful for them and their families.

Each year brings change to our lives, and aging relatives who may not wish to venture out during the holidays.  The passing of friends and relatives, new marriages, extended family, and young children enjoying the celebration all change the dynamics of our traditions. 

Most years, my mother or I have hosted the holidays.  After the passing of many older relatives, our celebrations became the same people who attended our weekly Sunday dinners.  Then we had the year it was my daughters and me. 

That year, we had our traditional holiday meal and ventured out in the dark for a walk with our dog Bailey.  Our neighborhood lined the streets with luminaries, which glowed in the moonlight as we walked together in the crisp falling snow.  It may not have been the holiday of our choice, but my girls and I agreed that it was a beautiful night that we will always remember, celebrating the birth of Jesus.    

Some of us may have established traditions, and whether we like them or not, we must do them because it is tradition.  Others may not have any holiday traditions.  Maybe we grew up where holidays were amazing, and now, they are not the same.   We might love holidays because our family gathers together, but we might dislike holidays for the same reason.

Some might like to be in groups and enjoy all the different celebrations, while others might like to spend the holiday snuggled in a blanket, watching a good movie.  Some of us can’t wait for the holidays to be over, and others can’t wait for the holidays to begin.  I continually remind myself that adults have the right to spend the holiday how they choose, without explanation.

It gets difficult when our expectations require our guests to adapt their schedules to ours. We can choose what we would like to do and how we would like to spend the holiday, but we also have to let our friends and family do the same.  While many people enjoy attending numerous celebrations on the same day, for others, it is painful and steals their joy.  I try to remember to be understanding and have compassion.

I pray for those who are unable to join the festivities, but I always remember to be present with those who do attend.

Throughout the year, I challenge myself to move out of my comfort zone, but I pray that I don’t put that on others.  It is my choice to challenge myself and my children.  But once children become adults, it is their time to fly and manage the season and the year on their own terms.

Wishing you a beautiful holiday season, adapting your traditions, expectations, and permitting yourself to be comfortable with how you spend your holiday.

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