In a relationship, look for someone who makes you a better person and for whom you make a better person. 

#1.  Contributing more than your share.

Ideally, you are committed and giving 100% of yourself to the relationship.  However, let’s use percentages and think in terms of strengthening and evaluating your role. Giving more than your share or more than 50% is imperative.  Each partner must think that the other partner is making a positive contribution; ideally, more than 50%. 

If you are not sure that you are contributing your 50% to the relationship/family.  Start to develop a list of what you and your partner bring to the table.  Attach a percentage to the items and see if YOU believe YOU contribute at least 50%.  Ideally, you both feel the other partner gives more.  If either partner does not feel the other is contributing their share, the relationship has not grown to its potential.

#2.  The value you add.

You desire a better relationship?  Figure out how you can increase your value.  Whether it is you or your partner not contributing value, pray and ask for God’s guidance.  Before marriage, knowing that your partner adds value is imperative.  After marriage, it is much more difficult to change perceptions. 

#3.  How one perceives.

Understanding perceptions is critical to a relationship.  It is important to remember that how a person perceives something is very real to that person.  The perception may or may not be correct, but it is real and true to that individual.  Feeling that your partner contributes more than their share is very important even if it is your perception. 

After a triple bypass, a heart valve replacement, and many bouts of pneumonia, my husband was not able to physically do everything he wanted to do.  At that point in our marriage, it may have appeared to people that I contributed more to the relationship.  That was not how I felt.  My husband brought me a feeling of unconditional love, I felt completely safe in his presence, he took excellent care of our children, he was a kid at heart, and brought fun to our relationship, he ran errands that allowed me to come home from work and be with the family, and he was thoughtful,  among much more.  For all those things and more, he made me a better person and I always thought he contributed more than his share to the relationship. 

Contributing your share, adding value, and understanding your perceptions regarding the partnership is crucial to a sound relationship.  To strengthen your relationship, ask God for guidance through prayer. 

One of my favorite movies regarding prayer and relationships is War Room:  Prayer is a powerful weapon.  It is also available in book form War Room: Prayer is a powerful weapon.

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