As a parent, teacher, coach, friend, etc., staying focused and alert to the things around me is something I work on daily.   When I find myself mentally wandering from my present situation I quickly evaluate two things.  First, is it my responsibility to be mentally present?  Second, do I want to be mentally present? 

Both of those questions quickly direct me back on course as to how I am going to respond to losing my focus.  A quick prayer then helps me follow my intended path. 

Some time ago I remember asking my daughter how was practice and this was her reply, “Fine, but the coach was on the phone most of the time.”  My reply was, “So how do you feel about that?”  She answered, “I guess we are not the priority.” 

It is not just kids that notice when we lose focus.  I was at a sporting event and a coach was interacting with the phone during the warm-up and continued to do so during the game.  Thankfully for us, it was a coach from another team; but I noticed, the kids noticed, and other parents noticed the lack of interaction with the players. 

Then there are those times when my daughters will be on electronics during family time.  I don’t force my girls to be with our family, most of the time they want to spend some time with our relatives.   Occasionally one will be present, but not really with us mentally!  When everyone is interacting and one of my girls is continually utilizing electronics, I quietly let them know that they are physically present in the conversation, but not making us feel important or loved.   

Of course, there are those moments when you have an emergency or something that requires you to move off focus for a time.  That is when I apologize to those I am with and ask permission to divert my focus. However, I recognize there is still a chance that it will send a signal to others that I am not interested, bored, or that they are not important. 

To take it to an extreme, I watched a movie where a bride walked down the aisle with her cell phone in her bouquet.  In this particular movie, the groom realized she was extremely off-focus and called off the wedding.  Thankfully, the bride took some time to reorder her priorities in life!

If you are on your phone because you are bored, uninterested in what is going on around you, or so dependent on social media that you can’t leave it alone, ask yourself if is it your responsibility to be mentally present.  If my answer is yes, I leave my phone somewhere safe but not on my person. 

Second, ask yourself if you want to be mentally present. When my answer is “no,” that is when I change my situation and pray that I will be led down my intended path. 

I work daily on reprogramming myself to pay attention to people, not electronics or other noise.  Staying focused on other people is one of my priorities.

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