Suffering is difficult and very personal.  For several years now I have been a full-time caregiver.  I have learned some things worth sharing, however, every situation is uniquely different.

In The Book of Joy, I remember reading that the Dalai Lama approaches every situation and person with compassion.  Every interaction, whether through the eyes, the voice, the touch, everything from a perspective of joy.

Before reading The Book of Joy, I had numerous interactions with Path to Faith, an organization founded by the Nemeh’s with the mission of bringing people closer to God by experiencing His love and His power that heal us both physically and spiritually.  The Nemeh family lives life with love and faith.  When people live their lives with compassion, their inner peace illuminates from within them. It is contagious and once inner peace is experienced, it’s difficult to return to a life of stress and worry.  

It is this love and compassion that was so critical in helping my parents move through a very difficult time in their lives. Whether one is interacting with someone for minutes, hours, days, or continually, people know and remember how you make them feel.

Compassion and love transfer over to trust. When someone knows you genuinely care, trust normally will follow.  Many of us prefer to do things on our own, but there comes a time when most of us need help. When that time comes, I pray for each of us that love, compassion, and trust are near.

I don’t think many who know me would say that my sense of humor is my strength.  However, I’ve known for much of my life that humor is a huge gift in many situations.  

When stress is high and people are feeling low, a good laugh is a wonderful medicine.  I’m not talking about critical humor, but humor that lightens the situation.  When things get tough, that is when my humor shines.  Tasteful humor can make a person’s day.

We all know time is important and a beautiful gift to give others.  It’s not always about what you say or don’t say, often it can be as simple as being there for someone.  That doesn’t mean there is an amount of time that is necessary.  It just means that finding time is important and makes people feel appreciated.  

The beautiful thing about compassion, love, trust, and time is that when it is genuine, the person feels it even when you are not present.  The person knows when you have given your love, time, and trust even if there are miles between you.

In the past, I would have said that there are levels of suffering.  These past few years have given me a different perspective.  Suffering, no matter what form, is difficult.  I don’t believe that suffering is more or less difficult.  I simply believe it’s different, personal, and a journey.

My mother suffered from memory loss for numerous years.  Through her prayers to Jesus, I am confident she had moments of realizing her situation right to the end of her life here on earth.  Realizing that your mind is gone would be very difficult.  

I have also watched my father, who has an incredible memory and looks amazing, suffer.  I’m here to say I am incapable of judging the level of suffering someone goes through.  Suffering in every situation is difficult.  The only things that I have found to be helpful are love, compassion, trust, humor, time, and lots of prayer.  

Suffering at all levels is difficult, but can provide an opportunity to become closer to those we love and to Jesus.  In my experience, compassion, love, trust, humor, and time are all things that can help someone move through difficult times.

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