One of the most difficult things I had to learn how to do was to accept help from others. For someone independent and self-sufficient, learning how to accept generosity from others was and still is very difficult. For me, there was a sense of pride in being able to take care of myself and my family. I struggle when I have to accept help. Sometimes I accept help because I need the help. Other times I accept help because it is the right thing to allow someone the opportunity to be kind and neighborly.
I never thought I was a prideful person until I was put in a position where I needed to ask and accept help. Sometimes the help was as simple as asking someone to drive my children to an activity or event. Sometimes it was as major as asking for a loan.
What I found was that in most cases, people do want to be helpful and are willing to go out of their way to help. I know that I never mind someone asking me for help, but I am very careful when I ask for someone’s help in return. Although I like to be as helpful to someone as they are to me, I do not keep a score.
Every once in a while you will find that person who is always helpful. So helpful you feel guilty regarding the fact that reciprocating the level of help at that moment in your life is just not going to happen. I have several friends who I can not keep up with their generosity and I don’t even try. What I do is pass that same generosity on to others when it is appropriate in my life.
One of the best examples is when I was a college student. I had several families that took me under their wing and allowed me to join their activities at no cost to me. I received housing for the summer, food, sailboat racing, and much more. I could not repay those families for their generosity to me, but I have passed it on to others whenever possible. In some way, I think that is exactly what those families would have wanted me to do.
On occasion, I find the person who will ask for favor upon favor. The situation is rare, but if it becomes an issue and creates conflict in my life then I politely remove myself from that conflict.
In addition to being able to ask for help, I also now have a better sense of when to offer my assistance to others. I am more aware of when offering a ride would be helpful, when someone might need a meal, or when a friendly voice on the other end of the phone is appreciated.
It is important to be helpful and bless others throughout your day, but it is equally as important to be able to receive blessings graciously.
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