Just like cutting down a tree, once your words are spoken or your actions are seen, they can’t be taken back.  You can be forgiven, but the words will always have been said, and the actions will have been seen.  

Most of the time I am very careful about how I answer or respond to someone.  Particularly if I am aware the person is uncomfortable or difficult.  I don’t rush to react or feel pressure to respond.  There are those times when I am caught off guard and say or do something I regret.  It is during those moments that I pray for a way to get out of the situation or for a way to apologize.  

Recently I was with my daughter, going to one of her weekly lessons.  The teacher for the lesson is amazing and is the perfect fit for my daughter.  We have been with this teacher on and off for three years, working around schedules, etc.  During the last 3 years, we have had several invoice issues that were very minor and always due to an invoicing error of the person at the front desk. 

As the customer, I am not writing the invoice, simply paying the invoice on time.  Each time these issues came up, I was always put in a position where I felt like it was my fault.  It can’t be my fault because the amount was invoiced to me by the business.  

For me, walking in the door of this business was always two-sided.  I loved connecting with the teacher and I dreaded any interaction with the front desk.  One day my daughter and I went into the business on a different day.  We were greeted by this welcoming voice and assisted with respect.  I walked out of the business that day thinking what a wonderful experience.

Due to forces of nature, snow storm, and accidents, we were not able to make a lesson.  I called in from my car letting them know that we were in stopped traffic.  The following week, I went to the desk to pay and again was met with the same negative attitude.  I asked about making up the lesson and was told no, that they had given me a makeup opportunity that same day (that is true, but we had a previously scheduled event at that time).  Of course, I was willing to pay for the lesson, but normally if a slot becomes available there is some flexibility for a makeup lesson.  

I looked at my daughter and said, “I don’t know how much longer I want to walk into this business and be spoken to that way.  It is likely that I am going to end up canceling your lessons.”  At that point, my daughter was worried, because she knew that I was serious and she enjoyed the lessons.  She said, “Mom, please don’t worry about the front desk.”  I knew at that moment that the person I would be hurting the most if I stopped the lessons was my daughter.  I also knew that I did not feel right about supporting a business with poor customer service.  

Ironically, the lady at the front desk realized she invoiced me wrong again that day.   She came back and told me that I did not pay for the day we had missed.  I said ok but did not move to the front to pay.  I knew if I had gone up to the front desk at that moment I would have lost it.  I sat there thinking, do I go against my principles and support a business that is not treating people with respect so that my daughter has the joy of lessons with a great teacher or do I leave?     

The odd part is that it had nothing to do with the money or the specific event that happened at that moment, it was an accumulation of events that told me I was doing business with a company that did not have respect for people.  At the same time, I knew my daughter would be the one missing out if I were to stop the lessons.  Whatever my decision, I knew that there was no going back.  I had to think before I reacted.

Just as a tree that has been chopped down, your words and actions are very difficult to repair.  They can be forgiven, but the memory of what was said or done will always be there.  I do my best to give myself time to think and pray about how to react and I give thanks every time I think before I react.

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