So many of us struggle with the concept of friends and wanting to be liked by others.  We think that feeling disappears as we progress through middle school, high school, and beyond; but often it does not.  Living our lives worried if others will like us is a very stressful endeavor. 

It is important that we love ourselves and that we love others.  It is important that we are content with ourselves and that we are proud of how we treat others.  I pray and ask God to lead me down my intended path and to make me aware of potential friendships. 

If you do not feel good about the people you are interacting with, then you need a new circle of friends.  Asking God for help with putting people in your path is critical to your success in finding solid core friendships. 

Your new friends may come in packages that are vastly different than your typical choices, but you will find a solid belief system that is similar to yours.  Through prayer ask God to lead you to people that would be positive influences in your life and share similar beliefs.

Let go of the friends that pull you down.  Love them for who they are, but distance yourself from being caught up in the behaviors that bring you down or complicate your life.

1.   Determine what characteristics are important in a friendship.

Ask yourself some questions that will help determine what qualities are important to you in a friendship.  For me, it is important that my friends are “real”.  I want them to accept me for who I am.  I want to be there for them if they are having a great day or if they need some encouragement.  For me, there is a difference between being there for someone in a time of need and continually being emotionally drained from someone’s issues.  I find a way to remove myself from any emotionally draining or toxic friendships.  Of course, I would always be available to help someone find professional help, but I do not allow myself to be the daily punching bag. 

2.  Friends with common core.

All of my friends have at least one thing in common, they have a willingness to love others.  As I review my circle of friends, they don’t have much in common other than having big hearts. 

3.  Friends of all ages

When it comes to friends, age has never been a criterion.  Ever since I can remember I interacted with people of all ages.  I have been blessed with so many long-term friendships with people older and younger than me.  The knowledge you gain from cross-generational friendships is priceless. 

3.  Variety of friends.

I have found it interesting that I enjoy different friends depending on the activity.  Some I enjoy spending time with at home.  Others I enjoy being around during sports activities.  There are friends that are fun on vacation.  Friends that I would call to go out to a restaurant.  Some I connect with during the day and others I only see in the evening.  There are those I rarely see or speak to but have a bond with for life.  Some friends are local, but many of my friends are living around the globe.  I enjoy all my friends in different ways and am grateful to have an abundance of diversity among them. 

4.  Mentors become friends.

Most of my mentors have become lifelong friends.  I have mentors in almost every area of my life.  Sometimes the person knows that they are my mentor and other times I follow from a distance and pay attention to whatever it is that I am trying to learn.  I have mentors with work, school, hobbies, sports, cooking, parenting, etc.   Some of my closest and best friends are a result of mentoring. 

Friends are a true gift from God.  When you find one that accepts you for who you are and has love in their heart, it is a true treasure.  Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from toxic people; loving from a distance is acceptable.  Pray that friends will cross your path and be open-minded to the form in which they appear, God is good!

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