I pray that moments, where I am not so proud of myself, diminish as the years go by, but in reality, I am continually striving to do the right thing. Continually working on making the right decision. Those are just the moments that I am aware of, I am sure there are many more moments where others think I have done or am doing the wrong thing.
Sometimes those moments where I am not so proud of my decision I have an opportunity to make it right, or at least acknowledge that an error was made and apologize. Other times the moment passes and I have to forgive myself for the decision I made. I acknowledge the error and pray that all will be forgiven.
Most of the time I believe we know what actions we should take. In those not-so-proud moments, I usually have some indication that I am going in the wrong direction. It is a choice, back down and walk away or continue in the heat of the moment. Sometimes I try to reason between the choices, but deep down I know the right choice. Often the right choice is not what I want, but it is the choice that is honorable and the choice that will make me proud in the end.
When I make my choice, I then give the decision to God. Either way, I know I need prayer. Prayer to help me through the apology, for forgiveness, for help with the consequences of my choices.
I have encountered not-so-proud moments with just about everyone I love; my husband, children, family, friends, etc. For the most part, if you know me personally, I am sure there have been some moments. I hope that those moments have been few and far between, brief, appropriately discussed, apologies made, and forgiveness granted.
There are those times when forgiveness is not granted. Or maybe not granted immediately. It is those times that make it particularly difficult to move on from my not-so-proud moment. For me, prayer and time have healed most relationships. I would like to believe that all relationships will be healed, but I choose to believe prayer will heal my relationships at the appropriate time.
There are those times when we don’t realize that we have had one of those not-so-proud moments. I realize that someone is not acting like themselves; something is hindering our communication, relationship, and comfort level. At this point, I pray that the true issue will be acknowledged and addressed. That communication will be open so that feelings can be repaired.
Pride and forgiveness are two things that I work on continuously. I pray for forgiveness and guidance. I thank God for helping me through all my not-so-proud moments.
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