Honesty is a very tricky thing.  On the one hand, we want to be honest with others and on the other hand, sometimes honesty can be very hurtful.

Honesty is important and should be heartfelt, taking into consideration how we would feel being told the same information by someone else.  One of the most crucial points is how honesty is delivered.

Being honest to a fault can be tough on friendships. It can be hurtful, ugly, and yet sometimes necessary.  It gets difficult when there is a fine line between being honest, not saying anything, and lying.  Sometimes these are miles apart, sometimes so close it confuses me.

Often saying nothing tells people exactly what they need to know.  Other times people are not as perceptive and need to be told your honest opinion.  Perceptions play a key role in honesty.  

There is a difference between honesty and genuinely not understanding that something is wrong.  Often people don’t see themselves the way other people see them.  Some people perceive that they are looking at the situation with clarity and honesty, but their perception is a bit off reality.

When I struggle with the dilemma of how to best be honest with someone, I pray that God will guide me through the process.  That I will be given the words to say and the courage to say the right thing.

Although there are times when being honest can be hurtful, the majority of the time being honest makes my life simpler, kinder, and certainly more enjoyable.  Dishonestly takes a lot of energy and is for the most part toxic.  

Have you been around a child who placed last in an event or a competition and asked, “Did I do well?” In my opinion, this is the time when lots of encouragement is key.  It is all in your perspective.  My responses are usually questions. “Did you complete your task?”, “Yes.”  “Did you do your best?”, “Yes.”  “Did you do what you said you were going to do?”, “Yes.” “You did well!”

Would anybody else watching the competition think they did well, that’s debatable. However, they did well in numerous ways, some of which are not identifiable to others involved.  We have a choice, to be honest, to not answer the question, or to give compassionate honesty – honesty coated with love.

It is important as an adult, to be honest with your children so they have a good example to follow.  I make lots of mistakes.  I apologize to my children frequently.  Sometimes it is regarding my voice tone, sometimes I jump to the wrong conclusion, and sometimes it is just not my day!  But I always make sure my children know that I made an error, that I am sorry for my mistake, and I ask for their forgiveness. 

One of the toughest times to show honesty is when someone asks your opinion on their appearance.  My philosophy is please don’t ask me if you don’t want my honest opinion!  This is when the honesty coated with love comes into play.  The delivery of your honest opinion is key.  I work hard at being kind, yet honest with my opinions.  I have people who come to me for my opinion just because they know that I won’t tell them what they want to hear but my opinion along with a positive suggestion if appropriate.

For me, honesty is the best policy, but in tough situations, I am careful to seek guidance through prayer.  I am intentional and careful with the manner in which honesty is delivered.  How will you react to what you are seeing through your lens?

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