At various times in my life, I have encountered people who tell me they are not allowed to show feelings, they don’t know how to show feelings or they believe they can’t show their feelings, particularly when it comes to love. 

Maybe when it comes to love, the issue is not simply based on feeling, but on how one defines love.  One can show love in every aspect of life.  Love can be tough love, gentle love, endearing love, romantic love, caring love, protective love, etc.  It can also be shown by simply being alert and aware of the needs of those around us.  It is shown through kindness.

It might be cultural, it could be a career or even a parent or guardian that requires the suppressing of emotions or love.  When I find myself around people who believe they are not allowed to show emotion or love I show them kindness.  I don’t expect anything in return, I simply show a willingness to be helpful.  In very subtle ways I show them that I care and that they have my attention.

For many people, it is not easy to display feelings of love.  It takes time to learn how to let go of fears and allow oneself to give love to others.  We so often refer to the word love in terms of romantic love.  It is important that we broaden our definition of love to include kindness and compassion toward others.

When I hear someone say they don’t know how to love, I usually ask them how they interact with others.    They look at me strangely and I ask them if they treat others with respect.  Are they helpful to others?  Do they listen to others?  If the answer to these questions is yes, then love is already in their life.  If the answer is no, these are things to work on to start to live a life of love.

Love is simple, but not always easy to give to others.   Sometimes people make it difficult to be loved.  The key for me is to continue to be kind.  When I find it challenging to be kind, I take a moment to pray for strength and an opportunity to shine love upon the people around me.        

When we live our lives with love in our hearts, people notice our kindness.  When we pay attention to the needs of others, we are displaying love.

All we need… is a decision to love.

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