So often we don’t know when we hurt people with our words.  Finding ways to minimize or eliminate harsh words is key.    

We can’t take back our words.  Hence the importance of being very careful regarding the words that come out of my mouth. 

In the heat of the moment, I am not always good at choosing my words.  I have made enough mistakes that I am becoming good at hearing my errors, now I am working at eliminating those moments.

Being aware of our words is the first big step in minimizing the issue.  When tensions escalate I now listen and pray for the right words to respond.  Sometimes no words are the answer.

I make the most mistakes when I am caught off guard by a situation.  I know that Jesus will speak through me if I allow him, but there are times when I take charge and it is always a mistake.  That is when I pray for forgiveness, give up control, and get back on my path. 

Those who are family often receive our harsh words.  When I hear harsh words from others, I immediately apply them to how I treat my family.  Jesus has a way of allowing us to hear from others what we should be applying to our own lives. 

There are times when I need to say difficult things to my family for learning purposes, but I need to be careful about how that message is delivered.  Other times, despite the fact that I feel there’s a message to be delivered, the message might not be important.

I see this in myself when I believe that something could be presented in a more favorable way, but is that really important? Sometimes the answer is yes and I pray I deliver the message properly.  But honestly, most of the time the answer is no, it is not that important.

Almost any advice I offer to my children before school has a huge risk of escalating their anxiety.  I carefully pick and choose what time and what lessons to teach them. 

Sometimes I will drop a hint giving them an opportunity to change their presentation, but if the hint is not taken properly there’s no reason to move on with the learning experience because the issue at hand will not be heard.  If it is not important, I save the lesson for another day.  If the message is imperative, I pray that I deliver it with love and kindness. 

I have a vivid work memory of how my words were hurtful to a team I managed.  The team was incredible and we worked very well together.  The credit for our accomplishments was always given to the entire team. 

On this particular day, I was coming out of the CEO’s office after a monthly meeting.  I was going down the stairs as the team was coming up the stairs.  I was excited to share some news with them.  As we met I said, “I love my team!” 

The team stopped and could tell they were offended by something I said.  It was so out of character I remember it to this day.  They wanted me to say, “I love our team.”  They were right, it was a simple fix and I was careful not to repeat my mistake. 

That was a huge lesson for me regarding choosing my words carefully.  I can’t take back the words that I’ve said, I can only ask for forgiveness and move forward learning from the experience.

Words so easily can be of encouragement or leave others full of anger and anxiety.  I try to remember to think before I speak.  Praying daily that Jesus gives me the right words to say and the knowledge to know when I’ve made a poor choice of articulating my words.  When I hear myself get off track, immediately I change my perspective to love and kindness.

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