Family, a melting pot of different personalities with some common core.  It is not easy to define family.   It is my hope that unity, love, and forgiveness are part of the equation.  My family has been an important part of my life.  Second only to my faith. 

When I was young, we had a large extended family with lots of uncles, aunts, and cousins.  I thought it was normal to have family in and out of the house weekly if not daily.  Long ago I remember a neighbor telling us our family always looks like we are having fun, they wished they had family around to experience what they saw us experiencing.

I often think about that statement because our family has gone from numerous people to our immediate family and everything in between.   Sometimes we have immediate family with cousins, other years immediate family with cousins 10 times removed, back to our immediate family, to family with friends and friends that have become like family.

I realized later in life that it was my parents who fostered the unity of our family.  Back in the day, I called it the open-door policy, but I now know that they had love in their hearts for all.  They did not discriminate.  Our relatives that were closest to us had the same policy of love.    

My parents had an open door policy to anyone who chose to walk through.  It didn’t matter what time you arrived, who you brought with you, or how you were dressed.  They showed love to everyone and made each guest feel special.

Our house was small but full of love.  It was not perfect. Our family was not perfect.  In fact, our family had some major rocky roads!  But love and forgiveness were always present.  It never mattered who agreed or disagreed on any topic, my parents’ love was unconditional.

I am now seeing our family dynamics through the eyes of my children.  They don’t remember the Sunday afternoon family gatherings when they were younger.  They have noticed our family is much smaller than they remember.  That our family has extended to friends and that our friends have become family.  They know that the door is open for their friends and for all those who wish to walk through.

It’s tough to not judge others, to see mistakes happen, and to not get involved.  Sometimes it is difficult to be around people who have different views and values.  Making a decision to love others brings a whole new level of understanding to enjoying and making the best of family and family gatherings.

We all know that we didn’t choose our family, but I know my family is there for me. I know that I have love in my heart for my family and others.  And I know that if that love shines through, our family can conquer anything!

Your family doesn’t necessarily have to be your best friends, but they will always be your family. There will be differences and maybe some confrontations, but forgiveness and love guide you through all those differences.

There are situations that can be toxic and those have to be handled individually.  I have seen very toxic situations become tolerable through forgiveness.  It might be that only one side of the issue has been forgiven, but I have seen some tough situations mend through prayer and forgiveness.  It is never too late to rebuild a relationship when Jesus is involved. 

Family matters, I pray that you all have love in your heart as you move through this holiday season. 

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