Not everyone has the same idea of what makes a nice holiday, nor does everybody give thanks in the same way.  This message of giving thanks is something that I learned when I was very young.  It is one of the lessons that I am most grateful that I was able to see, experience, and understand.  Giving thanks for all. 

For me, the key to having a successful gathering is to allow my guests to be themselves.  I am grateful for each individual worker, communicator, consumer, and watcher.  Being present with those who are in attendance and prayerful for those who are not.  

Some people enjoy helping out at the party.  They are comfortable and happy when actively involved in cooking, serving, cleaning, and overall being helpful.  I am most comfortable as a helper as were both of my parents.  I always knew I had two additional pairs of hands to count on when I hosted a gathering.  

There are people who are great conversationalists.  I love to have good communicators at my gatherings because they breathe life into the party.  They are able to contribute in a way that facilitates the group and for that, I am very grateful.

I also love to have great consumers at my house!  People who enjoy a good meal are fuel to my soul.  It is no fun preparing a grand meal and unexpectedly having guests that arrive full.  The key word in that sentence is “unexpectedly.”  I always love to have guests whether or not they are consumers.  

Those who love the periphery are near to my heart.  In our house, we are open and inclusive, but we do so without a million questions.  Attempting to interact in a way that shows people their input is valued, while not stepping over the line of giving them discomfort.

The cell phone is here to stay but is arguably the most difficult obstacle when entertaining.  It is a product of how people grow up.  It’s a crutch that is used by most of us.  My kids know what I believe is acceptable use at a gathering, but it is not fair for me to put my boundaries on others.

I encourage us to be open-minded giving thanks for the time we spend together.  Looking for ways to be inclusive at our gatherings.  Encouraging unity among our guests.  Promoting kindness to recognize individuality.

We are all at different stages of our lives.  Our family members have grown up in different generations.  Choosing a perspective of love helps equalize all our differences.  Compassion helps us better relate to issues that arise.  

At our gatherings there are times when it is nice to have an activity that is cross-generational.  For us, that is the game of Uno.  It can be played by the youngest sitting on someone’s lap to the oldest generations, possibly with some assistance from those sitting next to them.  The directions are simple.  Those who don’t want to play can be included in the fun simply by watching from afar.

Holidays, gatherings, and parties in general create a great deal of anxiety.  Is my home presentable?  Does the food taste delicious?  Will everybody get along?  Do I have enough food and beverages?  Some of the best hosts and hostesses that I know stress about all the little details.  When I was young, I promised myself that if I were to host parties it would only happen if I allowed myself to enjoy the process beginning to end.

I challenge you, if you are not enjoying hosting your gathering for the holidays try a new perspective.  I pray and give control to Jesus.  If the potatoes are cold someone will warm them up.  If the turkey is dry they will add more gravy.  Things don’t always turn out perfectly.  But when we allow life to happen and let Jesus take control, the stress falls off and peace remains.  

We can’t control others, but we can choose how we react to different circumstances.  I choose to come from a perspective of compassion, inclusion, kindness, and love.  When I choose that perspective, I am able to move through the holidays and through life at peace and giving thanks.

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