Managing Expectations. Blog #57.

We are quickly approaching a day that for many people is filled with expectations.  Some of our expectations are realistic and some are not so realistic. 

Although I have high expectations for myself, I work hard at not forcing those expectations on others.  It is not that I set the bar low for others; but when I don’t have preconceived expectations, I find myself grateful and able to enjoy the moment.

Clearly, there are commitments, job requirements, etc, where a level of expectation is necessary.  However, I am writing about daily preconceived expectations.   

My expectations of my husband were that he loved and adored me. Beyond that, I didn’t expect anything else.   I didn’t expect him to know what I was thinking, understand what I was doing, or agree with my viewpoint.  I didn’t expect him to do everything right, do a certain percentage of the chores, or bring home gifts.  

I did know that he loved and adored me.  And that was our upfront contract, our expectation of each other.  Anything more than that was a bonus!  Even when we were angry with each other, I always knew that he loved me.  

In some ways, my expectations regarding my friends are similar to that of my late husband.  I know that my friends “love” me, in that spiritual love sort of way.  No matter how busy life gets, my friends and I know that we will make time for each other when needed.  My friends also know that it is fine if we don’t communicate for weeks, months, or years.  We don’t expect to hear from each other often, but we do know that we can count on each other when necessary.  

Expectations can create great anxiety.  For me, managing and minimizing preconceived expectations has been very helpful.  No matter the situation I repeatedly pray for guidance.  I pray that I will appreciate people and things for who and what they are, minimizing the pressures around me.   

For myself, I have faith that I will follow my path, the path that I am intended to follow.  I expect that I will have the faith to let go of what I want in life and realize that if I give control to God all other things will fall into place.   I have continually found that my intended path has led me to far greater things in life than what I had imagined for myself. 

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